In Which The Writer Had Nothing Better To Do
by Faniela
Summary: One Physics lesson, four extremely bored students, and an amusing postcard was born. Now extended!
1. Master of Death

**In Which the Writer Had Nothing Better to Do**

_(On the back of a postcard that reads, "Audible Hearts: Feeling Emotional? We're here for you.")_

Dear Harry,

If it is okay with you, I would like to borrow your Elder Wand for a day to complete my research paper. I promise to take really good care of it and not lose it. You'll just have to give your permission so that the wand will not change master. As curious and excited as I am about studying such a rare and powerful magical artifact, I would not, Merlin forbid, want a wand with such a bloody history! I'll drop by your apartment in a few days, if it's alright. Thanks!

Love,

Hermione

P.S. Can you help Ron? He's been feeling bored lately and is driving me crazy.

* * *

Hermione,

Yes, you can have the wand. Just for a day, mind you. It's not that I don't trust you, but I simply don't feel secure about letting the wand out all the wards for too long. You know what a potential for destruction this wand has.

By the way, I've spoken to Ron. We'll be having a game of pick-up Quidditch tomorrow. You owe me.

Love,

Harry

P.S. What's with the postcard? Is this your not-so-subtle way of telling me I need counseling again?

* * *

Dear Harry,

Thank you, thank you so much! For a few days, I was worried that you would not agree. And before you get all puffed up and indignant, I know how you feel about being the 'Master of Death'. I agree that the wand is trouble, but that's all the more why we should know more about it, right? Know thy enemy, and all that. And I'll be really careful, so don't worry too much. (I won't tell you not to worry, because I know that's impossible.)

I'll just be coming around tomorrow, then?

Love,

Hermione

P.S. I see that you've been working on developing your sarcasm. And no, I don't think that you need counseling. You might have needed it in your fifth year (anger management and all that), I'll admit, but you've been handling everything pretty well these past months, considering everything's that happened.


	2. Algebraic Expressions

_**Algebraic Equations**_

Harry,

How can x be the same as y?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Well, that was abrupt, even by your standards. Surely by now Hermione has taught you that in order for others to answer you, your questions have to be more specific. What do you mean by your question, anyway? Y is not, as far as I know, the same as x.

Harry

P.S. Ginny and James both say hi, by the way. And what do you think of dinner together at my house this Saturday?

* * *

Harry,

Sorry, mate. I guess I just got carried away. If you must know, I was looking for something in the attic when I came across some of Hermione's old books from Muggle school. One of them was a Mathematics book and it had some really weird things in it. One goes something like, 'y=3x+1'. It makes no sense whatsoever. How can x be the same as y? And what are x and y doing outside of a English textbook anyway?

When I asked Hermione about it during dinner, she burst out laughing before telling me tartly (you know the tone) that if I really wanted to know, I'd have to find out for myself. I don't get it. What's so funny about the question?

So, Harry, I'm really, really curious, and you know me and books just don't get along. So if it's simply some Muggle thing, can you just explain it for me in simple terms?

Ron

P.S. Dinner sounds good. We'll come by at six then?

* * *

_(Written in extremely shaky penmanship that makes it look as though the writer was laughing really hard.)_

Ron,

Don't worry about it. It doesn't really matter. I suppose you can just think of it as a Muggle quirk. Really. Nothing important. Trust me.

Harry

P.S. We'll be waiting.


	3. Once Upon A Song

_**Once Upon A Song**_

_A.N. Any opinion on Lady Gaga and Bad Romance is not mine. I have nothing against Lady Gaga. I just cannot imagine Hermione ever liking Lady Gaga._

Harry,

This is it. I'm going to kill Ron.

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

If it's all the same to you, I'd much rather you don't. I'd hate to have to arrest you. Is there any particular reason you are contemplating murder, or have you just decided that you aren't going to put up with Ron any longer?

Harry

* * *

Harry,

I know you are the Head Auror and all, but surely you agree that there are mitigating circumstances in which murder can be justified. In fact, I'm quite proud of my self-control. If it were anyone else, Ron would have been long dead.

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

While I'll agree that there are such things as mitigating circumstances, I can't think of any that will apply in the context of you and Ron. Care to enlighten me?

Harry

* * *

Harry,

Well, since you asked, Ron is slowly and surely driving me crazy. You know that CD player that Arthur gave us for Rose's birthday? It came with a soundtrack of Lady Gaga's songs. And now Ron's addicted to them! He's been humming them everywhere! I swear, if I have to listen to 'ra-ra-ra-ma-ma' one more time, you're really going to have to arrest me for murder!

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

Actually, I do believe that murder will be justified in your case. If you require any help in the disposing of the body, do let me know. I'll be happy to help.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

It's okay, I've found a better way. Thank Merlin for ear plugs. Thanks for the offer though. I'll keep that in mind for the next time Ron gets too unbearable.

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

You're welcome. Anytime.

Harry


	4. Your Pet Did What?

_**Your Pet Did What?**_

Dear Mr. Potter,

I regret to inform you that James is serving detention with me this evening at the greenhouse. This detention is given by the Potions Professor for not doing his homework over the Christmas holidays

Yours,

Professor Neville Longbottom

Head of Gryffindor House

P.S. I know, it's a little harsh if you ask me, but seriously, did he have to use the excuse, 'My pet ate my homework'?

* * *

Dear Neville,

As a matter of fact, a pet did eat up his homework, though it's not so much eating as tearing. Still, it's his own fault for not keeping his homework properly and packing his bag only in the last minute, so the detention is well-served.

Harry

* * *

Dear Harry,

But you don't have a pet!

Neville

* * *

Nev,

No, I don't. It's Hermione's. You remember Crookshanks? We offered to keep him for the week since Ron's having flu and cat fur aggravates his sneezing.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

You mean the old cat's still around? I guess part Kneezles do live longer than normal cats. And of course I remember him. I don't think any Gryffindors can ever forget him. He's quite the unique cat, isn't he? But surely by now he's learnt not to chew on homework. Hermione would have skinned him alive if he had done that to her homework.

Nev

* * *

Nev,

Actually, I'm not quite certain that Hermione would have hurt him in anyway, even if he did destroy all her homework. For one, the professors would most likely believe her if she had given that excuse (except maybe Snape), so no harm done. Besides, Hermione adores that cat. Ron still feels jealous sometimes, you know.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

It still doesn't answer the question of why Crookshanks would start destroying homework after restraining himself for so long.

Nev

* * *

Nev,

Well, as for that, I'm sure James learnt to never put his homework next to the can of catnip ever again.

Harry


	5. Unexpected Sortings

_**Unexpected Sortings**_

Harry,

Hufflepuff. _Hufflepuff_. Gryffindor, yes, or even Ravenclaw. But Hufflepuff? Where did I go wrong?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Come now, I'm sure it's not as bad as that. There's nothing wrong with being sorted into Hufflepuff. Some of my best Aurors are from there. And now that you think of it, it's not really that surprising. Rosie is brave and smart, but above all she has always been remarkably hardworking and loyal.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

I know, I know. Hermione lectured me for hours about it yesterday. I thought my ears were going to fall off. I suppose it's just shock, really. I had never expected Rosie to go anywhere but Gryffindor. She's a Weasley, after all. But yeah, I just need some time to adjust to the idea. So Hermione tells me in any case.

But I guess you have it worse than me, eh? I mean, Slytherin?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Actually, I knew that I was tempting fate when I named him. Albus Severus Potter. ASP. I'm quite surprised you've never remarked upon it, to tell the truth. And as I've told Al, there's nothing wrong with being sorted into Slytherin either. Slytherin's gained a great student, and Scorpius Malfoy's found a great friend, that's all.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

But still, Slytherin? Rather surprising, isn't it? I mean, no Potter or Weasley has ever been sorted into Slytherin before.

And do you mean to say that Al is making friends with the Malfoy spawn?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Scorpius is a perfectly fine young man, from what I've heard. There's no need to judge a person based on his father. Draco's much better now, anyway.

As for Al, well, you of all people should know that we are not defined by our surnames. In any case, the Sorting Hat had wanted to sort both me and Gin into Slytherin, did you know? It only put us in Gryffindor because we were afraid of Slytherin's reputation and terrified of disappointing everyone. Al doesn't have that fear. Gin and I have made sure that the kids know that everyone who matters would love them regardless of what happens.

Besides, Al has always been rather ambitious. All three of the kids are. It's not easy being the children of Harry Potter, and I think they want to prove that they are more than just that. James is too reckless and foolhardy to be a Slytherin, but Al is more subtle than James. Gin and I are happy for Al, and you should be too.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

_Draco's much better now_? Mate, I know you've been working with him these past few years, but seriously, do you have to call him by his first name? Please tell me you're not best friends with the ferret now.

Ron

* * *

Ron,

We've worked with each other for years now. You can't possibly expect us to be rude to each other forever, right? Calling him Draco is much more conducive to establishing a healthy working relationship. I think it's long past time for us to move past schoolyard rivalries, isn't it? Draco and I will never be best friends – there's too much history between us – but I daresay that we are friends.

As for the title of best friend, it is currently claimed by the person I am writing to, even though he is being a bit of an idiot at the moment. Though that behavior may change if Hermione finds out. Shall I write to her?

Harry

* * *

Harry,

Fine, you win. Just – no Hermione. You know how she gets whenever she feels I'm doing something stupid. Don't set her on me, please?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Does that mean that your perceptions have changed?

Harry

* * *

Harry,

Slytherin is a wonderful house, Scorpius Malfoy is a perfect kid, and Draco Malfoy is a saint. Happy?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Very.

Harry


	6. Quite A List

_Quite a List_

Hey Dad,

I need help. You know how you were advising me not to take Muggle Studies as the easy way out? Well, I'm beginning to think that you were right. About not taking Muggle Studies, that is, not the bit about how I shouldn't take the easy way out. Because I can assure you that Muggle Studies is anything but easy. I mean, most of the content is a piece of cake, since I already know how Muggles live, but our teacher is crazy! Crazy.

Before you start lecturing me on respect, hear me out. Do you know what she did? She managed to convince the Headmaster to let her modify the syllabus. As a result, we now have to submit a book review every fortnight! She's nuts, I tell you. I don't think there are even that many books in the library.

So Dad, do you have any advice for me? Some good books to recommend or send me, perhaps? Surely you know some good Muggle literature.

Love,

Your Very Frustrated Son,

Albus

* * *

Dear Al, (I hope you're less frustrated now)

Sorry, son, but I don't think I can help you much there. While I did grow up with Muggles, the Dursleys weren't exactly people who encourage good reading habits. In fact, you might know more about Muggle literature than I do.

I did, however, sent your Aunt Hermione a letter, asking her for advice. I daresay she'll be sending you a letter soon, detailing all the books that are good. You can't go wrong with her advice. Trust me, I've learnt that years ago.

Love,

Dad

* * *

Dad,

What in the name of Merlin were you thinking when you asked Aunt Hermione for help? Do you know what she did? She sent me a book list of '1001 books to read in your lifetime'! 1001! The list itself was so thick the poor owl was exhausted! And she actually expects me to finish the list, going as far as to offer to send me a book every week! Seriously, just because she managed to read a thousand and one books before she finished Hogwarts doesn't mean that we are all geniuses like her. Or is it genii?

And before you ask, yes, I did write her a letter to thank her. The list and books are helpful, really. But still, what am I supposed to do with 1001 books to read?

Love,

Al

* * *

Al,

Well, you wanted my help, and since I couldn't help I gave you the next best thing, and that's Hermione's help. Don't complain if she's too helpful. You can't help being a genius, after all. On that note, the plural of genius is genii, but geniuses are so commonly used that it's become acceptable too, I suppose.

Well, in any case, don't worry about it too much, son. I'm sure Hermione doesn't expect you to finish all 1001 books by the time you graduate, or even in your entire lifetime. Just focus on you fortnightly book review, and read the rest of the books she sends in your free time. You can always just tell her to send a book every 2 weeks instead, you know.

Love,

Dad

* * *

Dad,

Are you crazy? This is Aunt Hermione we are talking about here. No offence, but now that she's got the idea into her head, she'll give me a huge lecture about slacking off if I tell her that I don't want to read one book per week, no matter how good the book is. Either that or she'll be so genuinely disappointed that I'll feel bad and end up reading the books anyway. I'm grateful, really, but Dad, could you, y'know, talk to her or something? A thousand thanks in advance!

Love,

Al

* * *

Al,

I love you son, I really do, but there's no way I'm going to even attempt to talk your Aunt Hermione out of 'letting you engage in intellectual activities', as she so nicely phrased it the last time I tried. Any talk I have with her on this topic will probably end up with me having to read the books as well, and I'd rather avoid that. It's rather busy at work, you know.

So, son, I believe you should tackle this issue on your own. Some independence is good for you, after all.

Good luck, and do let me know how it goes.

Love,

Dad

* * *

Dad,

Gee, you're real helpful, aren't you? Thanks a lot.

Love,

Al

* * *

Al,

Why, you're welcome.

Love,

Dad


	7. I Need Some Advice, Here

Hey Teddy,

How's life for you lately? And how's Victoire? No morning sickness, I hope.

Everything's going well in school. James turned the Slytherin common room pink last week, but that's okay, because Scorpius and I teamed up and turned _him _pink in return. We got detention for it, of course, but it was worth it to see him walk around in pink for one whole week before the potion finally wore off.

Our Head of House is going to discuss our career options with us next week, since it's our OWL year and all. That's the main reason I'm writing you this letter, actually. I was hoping that you could give me some advice. I mean, how can you know for sure what you want to be at the age of fifteen? I know you've been saying that you want to be an Auror even before you started Hogwarts, but what made you so sure that it was your true calling?

Please reply soon. I have to decide what to say by next week, and, well, everyone else seems to be sure about what they're going to do.

Love,

Al

* * *

Hey kid,

Life's been good. Nothing much going on, really, aside from a Death Eater scare last week, which turned out to be just a few teenagers play acting. I'm sure they've learnt their lessons after the "talk" your Dad gave them.

As for Victoire, pregnancy suits her, and she's practically glowing. And not much morning sickness either. In fact, everything's going perfectly except for the cravings she gets in the middle of the night for food that can't be found in this side of the channel. I've been told by Harry, however, that it's pretty normal, and that I'm actually quite lucky compared to Ron. At least Victoire did not kick me out of bed for telling her to wait till morning.

About the careers thing, what brought the doubts on? I thought you've always said that you wanted to be an Auror, just like Harry. Well, at any rate, to answer your question, I'm an Auror because I can't really imagine myself being anything else. DADA's practically in my blood, after all. I suppose you'll just have to picture yourself doing it for a living, day in, day out. If you can see yourself doing that, and not get bored even after several years, then it's probably the job for you. In any case, despite what your teachers may say, you don't actually need to decide on a definite career path yet. Certain subjects like Charms are pretty much need for everything, and if you ask Professor Slughorn I think he can recommend you a subject combination that will leave you with plenty of options by the end of seventh year.

Just wondering, why me? I can understand why you don't want to ask James (it is, after all, the older brother's job to tease the younger), but surely it was more convenient to talk to Neville? And your parents can probably give better advice, being older and wiser and all that. Not that I mind, of course, just curious. You know you can come to me any time.

Love,

Teddy

* * *

Hey Teddy,

Aunt Hermione kicked Uncle Ron out of bed? Somehow I'm not surprised. (Don't tell her I said that, though.)

Thanks for your advice. I guess I'll try that, and let you know how it goes.

I know I've always said that I wanted to be an Auror, but see, that's the thing. I'm not sure how much of that is what I want, and how much is just me trying to live up to the expectations of being the son of Harry Potter. I love my Dad, I really do. He's probably the most awesome Dad ever, and I feel proud whenever people tell me I'm just like him. Sometimes it just gets a little tiring, you know? And I can't help but wonder if I'm really like him, or I'm just hearing it so much that I believe it. I want to be like my Dad, but at the same time I want to be myself too. So I guess I'm worried that being an Auror isn't what _I _really want, and I'll be forcing myself to fit into a mould that isn't me. Does that make sense?

You can see why I don't want to talk to any of the adults about it. It's rather too personal. And talking to Dad is absolutely out of the question, since there's no point getting him all worried and guilty over something that is out of his control. So is talking to Mum, because then Dad will somehow find out anyway. Besides, I thought you might have thought about the question too, since your Mum was and Auror as well. You might find me silly, but I really just want to be sure of what I want.

Oh well, good luck with Victoire, at any rate.

Love,

Al

* * *

Hey Al,

Actually, you're right. I did wonder about it for a while, and tried to find a way to assert my own identity (thus the rebellious teenage years, if you recall). So no, you're not being silly or anything like that.

I guess what you are really trying to find out here is how to tell the difference between what you want –who you are – and what you think you should want because of the expectations of others. Truthfully, that's a question that only you can answer, because if you listen to my advice, it's be something that _I _think you should want, and that won't do at all. Seriously though, he best way to find out whether or not you really want to be an Auror is to try it, and since the job requires quite a few NEWTs, you shouldn't have much trouble even if you decide to change jobs after a few years. If you do want my opinion, however, I believe that as much as being an Auror may seem like simply following in your Dad's footsteps, it suits you, too. DADA is your best subject, is it not? It comes to you without trying, or so I've been told. You can keep your head in face of danger, are good at thinking on your feet, and enjoy dueling. Considering all this, I'd say that there's a good chance that you'd enjoy being an Auror. Not to mention you've been wanting to fight Dark wizards even before you knew what Harry did. Trust me; I was there when you were running around with a toy wand, so I should know.

Don't worry too much about it, really, even if you're still not sure. Take your time. Discovering yourself is a lifelong process, after all.

Love,

Teddy

* * *

Hey Teddy,

Thanks. I'll take your advice, and take the courses required to qualify for the Auror Academy. And maybe Ancient Runes , too. I suppose I'll deal with the rest of it when it comes, huh? But seriously, when did you get so wise?

Love,

Al

* * *

Al,

So you didn't realize that I've been so wise all along? I'm insulted. Well, just focus on passing your OWLs for now. If you fail, then the whole point is moot, isn't it?

Love,

Teddy

* * *

Teddy,

What did you mean by "focus on passing your OWLs"? I don't need worry about that. I'm a genius, remember?

Love,

Al

* * *

Al,

Scratch that. Focus on getting your ego under control instead.

Love,

Teddy


End file.
